the indulgent auntie

When I was younger, their maternal grandmother was my indulgent auntie. She let me come over her house and get away with everything. If I was getting in trouble at school, I could call her instead of my mother. She would bail me out, give me a strong tongue lashing and promise to never tell my mother.

She died when I was 22 years old. She didn’t live to see her 40th birthday. She didn’t live to see her three beautiful grandchildren. She didn’t live to see her daughters grow up to be women.

When my mom and I reached out to my cousin and moved her here, I knew it was what my Auntie would have wanted. And now that I take on a lot of responsibilities as far as Thing 1 and Stinky Butt are concerned, I know that is what she would have wanted as well. Baby Girl, while 21 in age, is still about sixteen in the mind. She doesn’t have it all together yet. Losing her mother at 12 years old made it hard for her. She ran away from family and relatives numerous times and ended up in the foster care system. Her children are beautiful and eager to learn, but as she is still learning herself she has a hard time teaching them.

So I’ve taken over. I’ve taken over the potty-training. I’ve taken over showing them how to play together without fighting. I’ve taken over story time and bath time. I’ve taken over the disciplining and the fun time. I am the indulgent Auntie.

I am the one that takes them to the movies and the park. I let them run around my backyard until they are good and tired. I lit fireworks for them Friday night and last night just so I could hear their excited squeals.

And whenever Stinky Butt woke up during the night last night, he snuggled closer under me and whispered “Ti-Ti” just to make sure I was still there. He comes running to me whenever Thing 1 and Thing 2 do something to make him mad. In his garbled baby talk, he tries to explain to me what happened. I just dust him off and send him back out to play. After all, boys will be boys.

My mother seems to think that I am going to end up with custody of them both. I am not trying to take them away from their mother. I just want her to get it together. I’m trying to work with her and them to show her what she needs to do. In the meantime, they can spend as many nights over here as they like. This is a nurturing environment with healthy meals and healthy attitudes.

Hopefully some of it will rub off.