July 2003 Archives

I am updating my typepad more frequently than anything else at this point. I added all the old pages to hideous kinky. There's no design or style there just yet. Still working on that piece of it. My goal is to have content up on all three sites, but it is a slow process.

I have more Pusha tales to tell, but something happened on Friday night that changes the game permanently. Nothing bad, it was all good. I'm eager to tell, don't worry.

When I am able, I am going to have coffeenated forward to the coffeenated typepad. Eventually all the typepad entries will be on the coffeenated domain. I'm going to take the short notes section off of the monique site and move them all to coffeenated as well. Then I'll be able to use monique.ws as more of a journal site which was my intention from the get go.

So, back to the drawing board for me. I'm working on layouts and designs.

Damn I love the web.

I am at a loss for words.

ok, my typepad is up for everyone to see. I will be posting in both places while I play around with the features and see what it is able to do.

The resume has been sent. Now all there is left for me to do is wait and see if someone contacts me. Please cross your fingers and toes for me. I will probably be checking my email and voicemails every two minutes for the next few days just to see if anyone has said anything.

Today is my cousin Sharmayne’s birthday. She is 29. Happy Birthday Sharmayne. Tomorrow is her daughter LaShawn’s birthday. She will be 9. How cool to be your mother’s birthday present. My mother was her mother’s birthday present, four days early.

Today when I get home I am going to crash in the bed and get some much needed rest. I’ve spent the last few days going crazy, getting pages and websites together. I started working on my typepad site, but I’m not ready for anyone to see it yet. Still have some changes to make.

I put the pages on hideous kinky back up. Anyone interested in reading through 2 years worth of my writing is welcome to have a gander. There are some real gems in there, especially the stories related to Pusha. I’d say that I am the black Carrie Bradshaw, but I think I do it better than that bitch.

Hm. Sex in Sin City. Sounds catchy, no?

Writing your resume has to be one of the most tedious exercises known to man. I want this job badly though, so I am willing to go through all the anguish to get things done so that I can represent to the fullest, ya heard?

I read a years worth of hideous kinky history tonight. I know people tend to frown when you toot your own horn, but fuck them, I’m tooting. I can write! When I look at what I have been posting lately and compare it to what I was posting back then, I was doing a lot better before self-consciousness killed my “blog”. So fuck y’all. It’s back at it for me.

The other night I had a long talk with the chocolate cookie man. We discussed the fact that the mutual admiration society still exists and ran through possible outcomes of the scenario if we were to cross the line. Why is it that the more unattainable a person or thing is the more you want it/them? I’ve never been able to understand that. I’m still not going to cross the line, but there is a way someone can say something to you that makes you want to just take it all off. He does that to me.

Malibu Christy and I continue to strengthen our friendship as the days go by. I’ve only had one other friend like her, and I am coming to appreciate her value as a friend the more the days go on. We just fit. Our clique is small and tight and there is no way anyone will ever be able to come between us because we’ve built up a level of open communication that I have never experienced in any other friendship I’ve ever had with a female. She thinks it’s because we’re both so fucking moody and evil that no one else likes us and we have no choice but to be each other’s best friend. I beg to differ. I told her tonight that I value her as a friend and I wanted us to continue to be friends for a long time. She told me to shut up.

I just ate pieces of Bit-O-Honey. I love that damn candy.

It’s after 1 in the morning and I am still wide awake.

I’m thinking about making some changes to the way things are set up on this page. Specifically, I’m wanting to move the little minutiae blog to its own separated page, perhaps on coffeenated.com. I’m starting to feel like it has no place here. We’ll see though. I’ve been extremely pressed for time since the summer began. I’ve been spending more and more time with the kids and less time sitting in front of the computer being a geek. I will always be a geek, but the kids come first.

Fuck it, I’m going to bed.

This would be Thing 1

This would be Thing 2

I tried to get Stinky Butt to show those huge dimples he has

but he was only interested in his oreos.

When I was younger, their maternal grandmother was my indulgent auntie. She let me come over her house and get away with everything. If I was getting in trouble at school, I could call her instead of my mother. She would bail me out, give me a strong tongue lashing and promise to never tell my mother.

She died when I was 22 years old. She didn’t live to see her 40th birthday. She didn’t live to see her three beautiful grandchildren. She didn’t live to see her daughters grow up to be women.

When my mom and I reached out to my cousin and moved her here, I knew it was what my Auntie would have wanted. And now that I take on a lot of responsibilities as far as Thing 1 and Stinky Butt are concerned, I know that is what she would have wanted as well. Baby Girl, while 21 in age, is still about sixteen in the mind. She doesn’t have it all together yet. Losing her mother at 12 years old made it hard for her. She ran away from family and relatives numerous times and ended up in the foster care system. Her children are beautiful and eager to learn, but as she is still learning herself she has a hard time teaching them.

So I’ve taken over. I’ve taken over the potty-training. I’ve taken over showing them how to play together without fighting. I’ve taken over story time and bath time. I’ve taken over the disciplining and the fun time. I am the indulgent Auntie.

I am the one that takes them to the movies and the park. I let them run around my backyard until they are good and tired. I lit fireworks for them Friday night and last night just so I could hear their excited squeals.

And whenever Stinky Butt woke up during the night last night, he snuggled closer under me and whispered “Ti-Ti” just to make sure I was still there. He comes running to me whenever Thing 1 and Thing 2 do something to make him mad. In his garbled baby talk, he tries to explain to me what happened. I just dust him off and send him back out to play. After all, boys will be boys.

My mother seems to think that I am going to end up with custody of them both. I am not trying to take them away from their mother. I just want her to get it together. I’m trying to work with her and them to show her what she needs to do. In the meantime, they can spend as many nights over here as they like. This is a nurturing environment with healthy meals and healthy attitudes.

Hopefully some of it will rub off.

The kids are here again tonight. Two five-year-olds and one that will be two on the 31st of this month. We let them run themselves tired and then it was bath time with Mr Bubbles. They love bath time, but since we were running so late I didn’t let them stay in there playing. I washed the Mini-Hulk (also known as Stinky Butt) and told Thing 1 and Thing 2 to bathe themselves expeditiously.

As soon as I put Stinky Butt’s pajamas on, he started whining because he knew it was bedtime. He does not like to go to bed, but he was sleepy and drifted off as soon as his head hit the pillow. We put Thing 1 and Thing 2 in the guestroom. Stinky Butt is behind me on my bed, snoring up a storm. I wonder what kinds of dreams he has.

Tomorrow I will take them to the park and let them run themselves tired again. It is a routine. We love to be with them, but we can’t wait until they go to bed and all of the screaming and yelling and fighting over toys ceases.

It’s peaceful right now. Just the way I like it.

My favorite scene in the movie Money Talks is in the beginning when Chris Tucker is driving the Mercedes through the city with Barry White blasting through the speakers. He begins to sing the song in a very loud, off-key voice.

WE GOT IT TOGETHER DID'NT WE
NOBODY BUT YOU AND ME
WE GOT IT TOGETHER BABY

MY FIRST, MY LAST, MY EVERYTHING
AND THE ANSWER TO ALL MY DREAMS
YOU'RE MY SUN, MY MOON, MY GUIDING STAR
MY KIND OF WONDERFUL, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE

I KNOW THERE'S ONLY, ONLY ONE LIKE YOU
THERES NO WAY THEY COULD HAVE MADE TWO
YOU'RE YOU'RE ALL I'M LIVING FOR
YOUR LOVE I'LL KEEP FOR EVERMORE,
YOU'RE THE FIRST MY LAST MY EVERYTHING

IN YOU I'VE FOUND SO MANY THINGS
A LOVE SO NEW ONLY YOU COULD BRING
CAN'T YOU SEE IF YOU,
YOU'LL MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY
YOU'RE LIKE A FIRST MORNING DEW ON A BRAND NEW DAY

I SEE SO MANY WAYS THAT I CAN LOVE YOU
TILL THE DAY I DIE........

YOU'RE MY REALITY YET I'M LOST IN A DREAM
YOU'RE THE FIRST MY LAST MY EVERYTHING

*** INSTRUMENTAL ***

I KNOW THERE'S ONLY, ONLY ONE LIKE YOU
THERES NO WAY THEY COULD HAVE MADE TWO
GIRL YOU'RE MY REALITY
BUT I'M LOST IN A DREAM
YOU'RE THE FIRST YOU'RE THE LAST MY EVERYTHING

Goodbye Barry White. You will be missed.

A nickel weighs five grams. No matter what kind of scale you weigh it on - whether it be a triple-beam, a digital scale or one of those cheap little metal hand scales that you can keep in your pocket - a nickel weighs five grams.

Do not carry scales or baggies on your person.

There’s a way you can make a block hot without making it hot. It’s all in how you handle your business.

Don’t sell where you lay your head.

Don’t send packages to your house or your mama’s house or your baby mama’s house.

When someone comes with that line “I know where I can get it ten times cheaper than what you are charging,” they are lying.

You will always make more money on the breakdown, but the breakdown takes longer to make the money.

If you smoke a gang of weed and have no discipline, this is not the hustle for you. If you know how to balance your shit, you will be cool.

Although it is called the game, it definitely is not a game.

There are 28 grams in an ounce. There are 16 ounces in a pound. That means there are 448 grams in a pound. A gram sells for $20. If you are nice, you will sell 3 grams for $50, but not everyone is nice like that. You always make more money on the breakdown, which is why curb hustlers tend to make a pretty good profit and don’t branch out into pushing weight. Why should they when there is so much more money to be made on the breakdown?

A quarter pound of chronic is 4 ounces. That is 112 grams. If Doughboy sells you a QP for $1000 and you sell nothing but dub sacks, you will make $2240 in one day. Because as soon as the word gets out that someone has some good chronic, everyone is buying.

If you are smart, you will short sack people. Instead of putting in a whole gram, pick out the fluffier pieces and sell them in sacks with .75 grams in them. No one is going to ask you to weigh a dub sack. If you know what you are doing, you pack the bag in such a way that it looks stuffed.

You started out with 112 grams (a QP). That’s 112 sacks to be sold. If you are smart, you will cut some people some deals. Sell a few $50 sacks because since they are short anyway, you aren’t missing out on anything.

They are going to be excited when they get that sack because they know that they are getting some good smoke. Doughboy only sells that sticky green and you can smell it before you even open the bag. That is going to be blowing their minds.

After you’ve sold your 112 sacks, you will discover that your $1000 has turned into $3000. In one day.

This is the mathematics of marijuana.

My desk at work got moved to a new, more spacious location in front of the emergency exit. I guess I no longer have to worry about what I would do the day someone came in and went postal. I’m right where I need to be to run out to my car if necessary. My car is parked right in front of the door.

I’m in a corner where I’m not as easily accessible to the reps on the floor. Previously, I was right in the middle of the floor and anyone who needed help would automatically stop at my desk. This resulted in me doing a lot of work that wasn’t necessarily my assigned job function. Now, I won’t have to worry about that as much and I’m happy about it.

I’m in my own little corner where I don’t have to say hi to anyone if I don’t want to. I can sit back here and listen to the 80’s station on my radio and ignore everyone. I never realized I was so anti-social until I came to work here. It’s not that I don’t like people. I am anti-social when it comes to incompetence and bullshit. If I think you are messy or full of shit, I don’t want to have to deal with you. If I think you are DUMB, I don’t want to deal with you.

So I’m in my little corner, a hermit away from everyone else and I LOVE IT.