friends with benefits

"So now what?" I sat up when I asked it so I could look him in his eyes.

"You have any candles?"

I smirked. "Why?"

"Because the big light is too bright and the television isn't exactly mood light. Can you light a candle and some incense?"

I shrugged and left the room to gather the requested items. When I returned he had turned back the comforter and taken off his shirt. He was wearing a wifebeater underneath. The television was off and he'd managed to turn on my Jill Scott cd.

"Okay playboy, just what type of mood are you trying to set?"

"Little late to be askin' that dontchu think? I mean, you already got the candles and incense. "

He lit the last of the blunts and passed me the lighter. I lit the candles and the incense and sat next to him on the bed. He passed me the blunt and started rubbing my feet. I squirmed and giggled because I'm ticklish and that made him want to do it even more. He finally stopped when it was his turn to hit the blunt again and he resumed rubbing my feet when he passed it.

"Monique."

"Hm?" I blew my smoke in his face.

"You scared?"

"Of what?"

He thought about it for a minute. The blunt sent him into a hacking fit and it took him a few moments to recover. He snuffed it out in the ashtray and stared at me.

"Are you scared of us hooking up and fucking around."

It was my turn to get silent. I didn't know how to take that. I always have to analyze things that are being said to me. Whether that is the woman in me or the cynic I can't be sure, but I never accept things at face value.

"What do you mean fucking around?"

"It can mean whatever you want it to mean. You know me. You know how I am. I'm not the relationship type. We can kick it and be cool. You know I'll break you off and show you a good time. But you can't be getting all emotional. I can't take that."

"At least you're honest."

"Gotta be. Can't be a playa this long and be caught up in the game."

"Whatever negro. Anyway, why should I be scared of fucking around?"

"I'm just wondering if you are. If it was any other female, we'd probably have fucked by now. But you been holdin' out."

"Oh, I've been holding out huh?"

"I'm just saying. You always at the spot. We could have been done something."

"Okay, one place you can count on never getting any ass from me is at the spot."

"At least you didn't say I won't ever get the ass."

He winked at me then. All I could do was grin. He wrestled me down to the bed and pinned my hands.

"So you ready now?" He started kissing my neck.

"Am I ready for what?"

"To give me my prize."

"Your prize?"

"Yeah. I mean, I finally broke you down."

"Dang. Just when you might have talked yourself up on the pussy, you just talked your ass right back out of it."

He laughed at that. "I'll get it eventually. It doesn't have to be tonight."

"How are you so sure we should do it? I mean, we're supposed to be friends. If one of us catches an attitude, then that is going to fuck everything up."

"Why would there be room for anyone to catch an attitude? We are establishing the rules up front. You do what you do and I do what I do. Friends with benefits. Sometimes we kick it and smoke a blunt, sometimes we kick it and I scratch that itch for you. Go with the flow. You know what I'm saying?"

He punctuated this by biting my nipple through my shirt. I laughed.

"Pusha, you're a trip."

"You like it though."

"Yeah, I do, but I don't know if it's enough for us to just start getting down together. I like you as my friend. Sex tends to confuse things. I just don't want to risk ruining a really good friendship over a roll in the hay."

"You scared."

"What am I scared of?"

"You are scared you are going to get sprung on the d-i-c-k." He laughed when he said it and I punched him in the arm.

"Yeah right. I haven't met the dick yet that had me on sprung."

"Yeah rght. That nigga you be runnin' back and forth to Cali to see."

I looked at him in surprise.

"You didn't think I knew? Baby girl, ain't that much visiting your granny in the world. I knew it had to be some nigga out there you was running back and forth to see."

"Well, whatever. You have females too."

"That's what I'm saying. You do your thing and I'll do mine and we will practice the don't ask don't tell policy."

I thought about it. Friends with benefits, homey-lover-friends, fuck buddies - no matter what you called it, it spelled trouble. I looked at Pusha. He was rubbing my breasts and staring back at me which was making the whole thinking process a little difficult. And anyway, if it feels good you are supposed to go for it right?

"Let me sleep on it."

"Gladly," he said and started to unzip his pants.

"Don't be an asshole," I laughed.

"Don't be scared," he said and planted a kiss on my lips.

"Okay, I won't be scared."

"Good, you have no reason to be."

He lay on the bed beside me and pulled me closer to him. He continued to rub my breasts and I continued to be put under a spell that only the promise of new sex can put on you.

"Still," I began.

"Hmm?" He mumbled it into my neck and continued planting kisses there.

"it's too built up for us to do it tonight. I still think we should wait."

"Wait for what?"

"For it to happen naturally I guess."

"It's happening naturally right now."

"No, you're building it up because your dick is hard and your horny."

"Don't get much more natural than that."

I laughed. "Come on, just lie beside me and cuddle."

He gave me a look but did as I asked. We lay spooned all night, talking about any and everything. When we finally fell asleep it was peaceful and comfortable. Through the night I would wake up and grin because he was lying next to me. I had sweet dreams that I don't remember.

He woke me up the next morning with his tongue.