straight up

I keep it real. I keep it real with everyone. I don’t sugar coat and I don’t pussyfoot around when I have something to say. If I have something to say about you, you don’t have to worry about anyone else coming to tell you. Best believe I am going to tell you myself.

I have a very low tolerance for bullshit. If I think you are full of shit I am going to tell you so. That’s just me and that’s who I am. I don’t like ignorance or people trying to waste my time. I’m very protective of my family and those close to me and this shows in my attitude. As my friends say, I keep it gangster (or ganxtah as Tee would call it).

I was told by one of the managers at work that people are intimidated by me. When I asked her why she said that it was because I pull no punches. I say what I feel when I feel it. I told her that if that intimidates people then it’s their problem and not mine. She didn’t agree. She felt that I should make an extra effort to be nice to people and walk around smiling with daisies floating around my head so people won’t get the wrong impression of me. Fuck that. If you come up to me with bullshit I reserve the right to call bullshit.

I work in a call center and as anyone who has ever worked in a call center can tell you, there is a lot of childish bullshit that goes along with working in an environment like this. There are grown women who treat work like a high school environment. They are messy and always have shit going and at times I have come into contact with a situation that has caused me to have to speak out. I don’t like people coming to me with he-say/she-say shit at work and if they do try to come to me with it I am quick to roast the shit out of them for it and they learn eventually that I don’t want to hear it. The manager thinks this is mean. I think it’s mean for people to come up to me with no other reason than to say, “Did you see what so and so is wearing today? She looks stupid.” Bitch, please. Get a life. We are at work. That kind of shit has no place here.

I also have a problem with people who come up to me asking me about stuff that is none of their business. If I give you a hint that I don’t want to be pressed about something and you continue to press me about it then you deserve to hear whatever it is that I have to say to you. Some of the nosy broads at my job haven’t gotten the hint yet. A typical exchange may go something like this:

Nosy Person: Hey Monique, I noticed you weren’t here yesterday. Where were you?

Monique: Oh, I was off.

Nosy Person: Oh, did you change your schedule?

Monique: Nope. I just took a day off.

Nosy Person: Oh, did you go out of town or something?

Monique: Nope.

Nosy Person: Oh. So what did you need a day off for?

Monique: (now giving them the look) Um, to mind my business?

Or it might be something like this.

Nosy Person: Hey Monique, Tish isn’t here today. Where is she?

Monique: She’s not here. She won’t be in today.

Nosy Person: Oh. Why not? Where is she?

Monique: Minding her business I’m sure.

The person will usually stomp off mumbling under their breath about how “rude” I am. I think it’s rude to be asking stuff that is of no concern to you. If I don’t volunteer information then maybe it’s because I don’t want you to know or Tish doesn’t want you to know or whatever the case may be. To continue asking me about it like an idiot is just asking to be roasted.

A huge pet peeve of mine is people who come by and just stick their hands in your chips, popcorn and or whatever snack food you are eating without asking. Tish and I were sitting at our desks one day munching on some popcorn we had on a piece of paper towel. We were engaged in a deep conversation when one of our coworkers walks up, sticks her hand in the popcorn and takes some, then proceeds to address Tish with some totally unrelated issue as if Tish and I hadn’t been sitting there speaking with each other.

Monique: How rude of you. Did you ask Tish or me if you could stick your hand in that popcorn? How do you know we wanted you to have some?

Girl: Oh. I didn’t think you would mind.

Monique: That’s pretty nervy of you. Then again I guess it is easier to apologize than to just ask for permission.

She rolls her eyes and starts asking Tish a question. Tish answers the question and the girl stays standing there as if she now wants to sit and converse with us.

Monique: Uh, was there something else you needed?

Girl: Dang, Monique. Are you trying to get rid of me?

Monique: Basically.

Girl: Oh my god. (walks off sullenly)

Tish: (laughing) You are a rude bitch.

Monique: No, she was rude. Rude for sticking her hand in the popcorn and rude for interrupting us without even saying, "excuse me" when it was obvious we were involved in a conversation.

Your inability to deal with truth and realness does not equal me being rude. I try to have as much tact as possible when dealing with people. On the other hand there are some people who just don’t get it and you have to go there with them. I do go there with them.

Mimi and Ken make jokes and say that I’m gangster. Maybe I am. I just don’t believe in coddling grown folks behind bullshit. Say something to me that you shouldn’t and I will tell your ass. Invade my space or my privacy and I will let your ass know. I’m woman enough to come out and say it when I am wrong and you should be woman or man enough to accept it when you are. Period.

That’s just keeping it real.

Ear Hustling is another pet peeve of mine. This is when people who you aren’t talking to come up to you from four seats away and interject their thoughts into your conversation. I hate that. If I am not addressing you directly or speaking of anything that concerns you, don’t come up to me trying to put your two cents in. If I wanted to talk to you I would have. If I wanted you in on the discussion I would include you. When it is obvious that two people are trying to have a conversation on their own, don’t just jump in like you were there all along. It’s annoying. I will always respond with “Are you ear hustling?”

I read a post on Tee’s site about keeping it real and I went off on a rant. Basically I just wanted to say that my keeping it real and being straight and to the point does not equal being rude. I’m just straight and to the point. If you can’t handle it, maybe the problem is with you.

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