You know what scene in "Baby Boy" annoys me more than others? It's the scene immediately following the scene where he knocks the shit out of Yvette. You know the part, she's accusing him of fucking Pandora (the girl who almost sucks his dick) and they are yelling and screaming at each other and she repeatedly hits him. Finally he strikes back at her and what results is one of the most over-acted scenes in John Singleton movie history (even worse than that scene in "Boyz N the Hood" when Ricky's mother sees him shot up on the couch). Jody, in an attempt to apologize to Yvette, gets down between her legs and gives her "oral pleasure" while she cries and envisions several different ends to their relationship.
Why do men always think they can solve everything with sex? Why do men always try to find the charming solution to a problem instead of just admitting that they were wrong, apologizing and moving on from it? Why, why, why?
I am struck with memories of a man that I used to be intimate with. Every time he did something wrong or fucked up, he would always try to whip out the "magic make up dick" and engage me in sex so that I would forget the problem at hand. It worked temporarily. During those thirty rough-riding minutes I was transported to a place where it didn't matter that he had messed up with me. As soon as the sex was over though, those thoughts would be back in my head. Always, with the same response from him.
"Don't mess up the moment Monique. This is a beautiful thing Monique, don't ruin it."
As if thirty minutes of sex are supposed to make up for the fact that he has done something to hurt my feelings. As if somehow my emotions are tied irrevocably to my vagina and arousing pleasurable sensations in one area will lead to a soothing of bruised feelings in another. It has never made sense to me.
Even if they don't try the make up sex angle, the "I'm too charismatic for my own good" attitude is never too far behind. He will try to make you laugh by doing all that silly shit you used to think was funny but only find to be mildly annoying now. Will these idiots ever learn?
I say impress me with your ability to admit you messed up, your incredible sense of purpose in attempting to not do it anymore and I'm sure things will work out much more smoothly with us in the future. Unfortunately, most assholes who do these things are too blind by their own needs and wants to see that what they are doing is irritating you so they continue to repeat the same stupid mistakes that drove you batty in the first place.
I'm rambling, aren't I? I said all of that to say that a person who is truly sorry does not repeat the transgression again. Someone who really wants my attention will be genuine in trying to seek it. They won't resort to trying to get the attention of those around me in hopes that I too will notice. Please, keep it real mmmkay? Don't try to be slick, play games or work an "angle" that you think will work on me. Be real. That is what I admire the most in anyone. Because believe me when I say I'm going to keep it real with you.
Real make up sex occurs between two people who have worked to find a resolution to a problem, have agreed and resolved not to do whatever was wrong in the first place and are firmly committed to making things work with each other on an ongoing basis.
Sex done to squash an argument, shut that bitch up or put her in a good mood so you can go out with your homies later is just fucking. Don't sugar coat it.
don't be watching the same shows I'm watching on a Sunday, even just the same scenes and having similar reactions.
That kind of stuff fucks with my head.
or my hairdo.
somethin'.
I thought the worse scene in Baby Boy (other than the freaky embryological dream sequences) was when he's coming down the stairs denying screwing the other girl and he tells her "I love you girl, you got my baby, and you PROLLY gon be my wife"- or something like that. That was atrocious.
And make-up sex, well, unless I'm the one needing to make up, I don't particiate in it at all. Ha, but no really, I can't even get aroused when I am upset- if I am hurting the mood just isn't there, not for the one who did the hurting at least.
I'm totally feeling this post! Believe me when I say that men are the same no matter what age they are. To quote Richard Pryor "If a woman is acting evil ya gotta do one of two things BEAT her ass or take her in the room and F**K
her.None of this shit works for me. Sit my black ass down and talk to me, let's get down to the bottom of the issue and resolve it. If not "nigga" put your dick back in your pants, take ALL of your shit and get OUT! My momma use to say never let a man use sex to fix an arguement, your p***y ain't no peacemaker or a peacebreaker.
Whew! I feel better now...and that's all I have to say about THAT!
Who you tellin?
Exactly, I dun get it either. -shakes head-. I mean, it's pleasurable and all, but it's not enough. It takes more than a dick and a booty to satisfy an argument or the value of communication. NOTHING can replace the priceless exchange of communication. Nothing at all.
I dig babydaddy's who talk after knocking boots. It's such a pleasure rockin and getting to know them.
See take this, KD... when we have a fight he {barely} does that.. you know what he do? He forces me to go to the room and lock the door and don't let me out until everything has been resolved and talked over. He makes me talk, and what's even more to that, he listens and gives an affirmative response.
Then afterwards, we can get to some suckin and some swallowin. But that's just me and my dirrty mouth.
You already know I dig ya post. WHoo! Get online will ya?
Amen Nique!!!!!!! Damn I feel you. For me personally, I can't even have sex with anyone who has gotten on my last nerves. My husband knows that if he has pissed me off, don't even think about tocuhin' me. If I am not emotionally feelin' you or you have hurt my feelin's I cannot get down with you like that. Men do think sex solves everythang. For them perhaps. But not for us females.
I cracked up the entire time watchin' BabyBoy. That movie was so fuckin' hilarious!! All I hear in my head right now is Yvette's screamin' voice, "I'm tired of you fuckin' around on me Joooo-dy!".. Haha! Jody was a scrub. Plain and simple. In the end he got his ish together but he was still a scrub. LOL..
And did you see after he struck back at her the way she fell. So dramatic... Like he killed her. I was rooooollin'.. That movie was pure comedy to me.. I could watch it again..
The only scene I liked in Baby Boy was when Ving Rhames cooked breakfast. Nuff said.
Now, on the makeup sex, thing. Men use it because - most of the times - it works (and don't front, women use this trick, too). Sure, the negative feelings may resurface afterwards. But, like you said, Monique, by then he's out with the fellas laughing/bragging about the shit. Or that's one scenario.
I prefer to deal with the issue and get it resolved. But, it can't be immediately, because I don't trust the sentiment. Have you ever asked the apologer "What are you sorry for?" and the mofo doesn't know?
I say, make sure you've thought about what you've done and how it hurt me. Then, let's discuss how we both will ensure this doesn't happen, again. Only then can we make up like grown folks, k?
man...I think I got all teary eyed during that scene...I've SOOOOOO been there. its like you're so miserable...all you want is for him to treat you nice and treasure you like a queen...you want it to feel good for you AND him...and inside of all that you realize this isn't going to solve shit and everything will go back to the same ole same ole after this momentary bliss is over. whoo chile...I felt that scene...it may've been dramatic but it damn sure was realistic for me.
Jason - I think we should just get used to the fact that in a former life we were zygotes or something and whatever man, we just think alike :o)
Elis - That prolly gonna be my wife thing got to me too. He was walking around with two baby mamas for pete's sake. Nuff said.
Ms Stella - being your mama is my grandmama, you know I've heard the same lectures. She still tells me to this day that a hard dick has no conscience and a man is the first cousin to a dog.
Homiesexual - I'm glad you are feeling the post man. :O)
Tee - You are exactly right. Jody epitomized what TLC was talking about in that song. He was gone in Yvette's car all the time. I know women like that though. My uncle has a baby by one.
j - in my younger naive days i used to let the make up sex do the trick. Now I know though.
huny - I think we have all been there at one point or another.