adult conversation - part 2

are you scared?

Lesson 2: Gently place the balls into the mouth and hummmmmmmmmmmm - NWA, "She Swallowed it (Just Don't bite It part 2)"

Did you miss part 1?

Pusha and I sit alone at the spot. I'm writing haiku in a notebook and he's playing GTAIII. We've already burned two blunts and our heads are lifted. Every once in a while I will lift my head up and try to help Pusha get through some obstacle on the game. The phone rings, people knock on the door looking for those who aren't there and life goes on all around us as we sit in our green haze.

There's a cd playing. The variety of music at the spot is not that great. We get our fill of gangsta rap over here. On this day we are listening to an old school joint, NWA's "Niggaz4Life". Pusha and I both know all the lyrics so it's our own private NWA concert in the middle of the living room.

"This is NWA's livest album besides that first joint, " Pusha says.

"Agreed. This one had all the cuts on it," I say as the opening to "Automobile" comes on the stereo. I start snapping my fingers and bobbing my head to the song and Pusha takes this as his cue to sing it karaoke style. He grabs the tray to start the process for rolling another blunt, weaving back and forth to the campy piano tune that is the songs track and sings:

You don't have to front on me dear. So why don't you just give that pussy here? If you be good to me, Oooh I'll be good to you and we'll both ride home in my automobile.

All that I want is a little puss
all that i want is just a little head
if you be good to me
ohhh i'll be good to you
and we'll both ride home in my automobile

Before he even gets to the halfway point I'm already on my back laughing my ass off. He doesn't let this stop him and continues singing it until I swat at him. Laughing, he works on rolling the blunt and lets Eazy finish the song on his own.

"Monique, I dedicate that song to you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't have to front on me." He laughs when he says it and gets up to dump the cigar guts in the trash can.

"I don't think I'm the one that's fronting. "

He pauses. "Whatchu mean?"

"Nothing." "Automobile" has finished and leads right into "She Swallowed It". I bob my head and sing the lyrics along with Ren. Pusha is looking at me hard because the lyrics are worse than the ones in the song he just finished and I know them all. Add to that the fact that I've gotten up out of my seat and I'm doing the money dance while I rap the lyrics and there you go. He stops me mid verse.

"Monique, sit your ass down before you get into some trouble over here."

"Some trouble?"

"Mm hmm." He can't properly respond because he's sealing the blunt. I still haven't learned to roll a blunt and I'm watching him do it.

"Pusha, you got some big ass lips."

"Yep. I can wrap them all the way around your big ass titties."

I roll my eyes. "There you go."

"For real. You got some big ones Monique."

"Uh, they are strapped in a holster that I have to wear wrapped around my shoulders and back. I think I know how big they are."

He laughs. "You should just let me see 'em one time."

"What?"

"Yeah, flash me a little skin. Just flip your shirt up real quick."

"Boy, please."

"Come on. Ain't nobody here but us. I ain't gonna try nothin'."

"The last thing I'm concerned with is you trying something."

"Then show me your titties."

"Show me your dick."

"If I take my dick out, we're fucking. If we ain't fucking, I'm not taking my dick out."

"Oh lord. Nevermind."

"You scared?"

"Of what? You're the one demanding I show you my breasts. What do I get for that?"

"I'll kiss them for you."

"Nigga, please. Ok?"

"Monique."

"What?"

"Just show 'em to me. "

"Nigga, fire up the blunt before it dries out."

He fires the blunt up and we smoke for a moment without talking. He takes the NWA cd off and I ask him to put in a Prince cd I brought. When he sits back down on the couch, he reaches out and smacks me on my thigh.

"Don't try to steal touches boy. That's high school shit."

"Oh girl, I was just hitting you on the leg. There wasn't anything behind it. Now if I had reached out like this - "

He palms my left breast. I gasp.

"Oh my god! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?"

I swat at him and he laughs.

"On the real though. What size bra do you wear?"

"Okay, are you like obsessed with my breasts?"

"No, I just wanna know. How come you ask a million questions and want answers and then a muthafuckah ask you some shit and you get all tight? What's up with that?"

"Okay you got me there, but I'm still not telling you. Ask something else."

"You suck dick?"

"Damn. Straight to the point right?"

"Do you?"

"I have."

"You have? The fuck that mean?"

"It means that I have. Whether or not I still do depends on the person involved." I wink at him.

"Oh. One of them. But you probably expect every dude to go down on you right?"

"Um no. Actually dudes who are quick to want to go down on me scare me. It means they do it to everyone. Do you go putting your mouth on everything you see?"

"Hell naw."

"Okay then. Neither do I."

"Aight then."

"And you lick ass."

"Uhhh..."

"Well you were the one who brought it up before."

"Have you ever licked a girl's ass before?"

"No."

"Liar."

"I haven't."

"Okay."

There is a thirty second gap in the conversation and we both sit staring in opposite directions.

"I have before."

"I knew you were a freak!" He says it like he's won money for a discovery. "Have you done it to more than one person?"

"I'm not answering deeply personal or probing questions. Just general ones."

"You like doing it?"

"Well, I'm not going to run out and tape commercials singing it's praises but when I witnessed what it could do for my partner I added it to my repertoire."

"Ugh! You stick your tongue in the ass?"

"I'm not telling you what I do."

"That means yes."

"Do you wanna find out?"

'Do I wanna find out what?"

"What I do when I'm feelin' on yo booty."

'Naw cause if you try to stick something in my ass I'm going to have to dope fiend you."

"Why would you do that?"

"I told you. Ain't nobody stickin' nothing in my ass."

"You think if you like having your ass stimulated that makes you gay?"

"Somethin' like that."

"Do you like sex with men?"

"No."

"So I'm not drawing the correlation here. You'll have to break it down."

"You was talking about sticking a dildo in my ass. "

"Well, I was talking about you letting me fuck you. As opposed to you fucking me."

"You can fuck me. Get on top and ride this dick. I like that shit."

"Not quite the same thing. I'm talking about you letting me fuck you in the ass."

"And you are talking some straight up bullshit."

"We can take baby steps. I can use my fingers first. Get you used to the idea. You've had a finger in your ass before right?"

"Right?"

"That was while she was sucking my dick, I told you."

"Yeah, but you said she licked your ass too. She only has one tongue. That means she had to be licking one thing or the other at a time and you specifically said you liked the ass licking. That means she spent some amount of time licking your ass for you to even have enough of an experience to say you like it."

"So?"

"So if you liked having it licked, and you liked having her finger in there while she was sucking your dick, why wouldn't you let me stick a strap on in there?"

“That’s different. A strap on is a fake dick. I don’t want a dick in my ass. I don’t mind a finger or even a tongue. But as far as a dick no. I don’t want a dick in my ass.”

“Because you think it means you’re gay?”

Before he has a chance to answer there is a knock on the door. I get up and open it. Slim and Tiny stand on the other side waiting to be let in.

"What's up Pusha nigga?"

"Nothin niggas, what's crackin?"

I don't attempt to start the conversation with them there. Instead we have general conversations about sports and music and talk shit over rounds of Knockout Kings on PS2. When it's time for me to, I pull Pusha aside and convince him to give me a gram of chronic for free. He packages it up and walks me to the door. He stands outside, watching me get into my car.

"Monique, you a manipulator."

"What do you mean?"

"You just are."

"How am I manipulating you?"

"I just gave you free weed didn't I?"

"Oh dang nigga. You want $20 dollars?"

"No. I don't need it. I'm just saying."

“You’re just saying what?”

“Nothin’.”

He turns to walk back into the house. I close the car door and start the ignition. As he nears the front door he turns and looks at me one last time, shaking his head.

And I drive away, knowing he wasn't talking about the weed.