buck up! (these thoughts are not very organized)

I love it when I make decisions that I feel good about. It rocks.

Thank God it’s Friday. I’m supposed to be going to the club tonight but my ass is tired. The rest of me is too. I don’t think I can drop it like it’s hot tonight, but we shall see. I still have a ton of laundry to do and there are clothes all over my room. Shoes too. I need to get a box going for goodwill. I just have so much stuff. It’s crazy. I acquire more each week too. That’s IG Monique doing her thing. I’m all about instant gratification.

Games. Men and women. We play games with each other. It’s funny though, there is something that you men will never realize. We have so much more game than you. I mean really. The shit that you do that you think you are being slick with? We’ve already peeped that shit homey. We’re just giving you enough rope to hang yourselves with.

On the other hand men that know how to be straight up and to the point tend to go further. At least with me they do. I love a man that can say what he means and means what he says. Indeed. I don‘t need your circumlocution. If something is on your mind, bear witness to it. Fuck all that bullshit, okay?

These two dudes want to get at me and my homegirl. We know they want to and we are just sitting back waiting to see how they are going to handle themselves. The other night (the night before my birthday) we were all sitting over their (the guys) house and they were getting us loaded and everyone was drinking and these negroes decided to start talking shit.

Now I can talk shit with the best of them. I love to talk shit. Whether it be simple flirtation or speculating on the size of your genitalia, I have that art down to a science. (art/science?) So they started it, telling us we better “buck up” (if you’ve seen How High you will get the reference) and how they were ready to do this and that. They kept teasing my girl, telling her that the dude who was interested in her wanted her to hurry up and drink so they can get it going. Too bad old boy wasn’t speaking up for himself. His cousin and his homeboy were doing all the talking for him while he sat there grinning like a cheshire cat. Then his cousin said, “My boy is ready for you. What you gonna do?” My girl and I just looked at each other and started talking that fragmented girl shit that women do when they are in the presence of men and want to only acknowledge the understood, silent agreements. Inside I was crying laughing.

I didn’t want to say anything because it wasn’t my place. It was between two consenting adults and I wanted to see how my girl was going to handle herself. The “boys” kept it up for another thirty minutes and my girl and I grew tired of all the “talk”. I picked up my car keys and said, “let’s be out lil mama.” My girl knew the cue. She turned to the one who wanted her and said, “When I get ready to fuck the shit out of you - and I am going to fuck the shit out of your ass - neither of these two clowns are going to be here. So all this entertaining you trying to do for them? Save your smiles and giggles for after you get the pussy nigga.”

Those negroes were silent for like two minutes I swear. My girl and I were laughing and openly talking shit at this point. I turned to little man and said -
“You ain’t got no game nigga?”

“Whatchu mean?”

“I mean damn, your boys have to talk up on the pussy for you? You can’t speak up for that shit yourself? What part of the game is that?”

At this point his boys came to his defense and started saying that they really weren’t trying to speak up for the pussy on his behalf, they were just joking around and didn’t really mean anything by it. Yeah right niggas.

So we get in the car and I’m taking her home and she calls the house on her cell and asks for little man. He gets on the phone and she asks him if he thought he was being funny trying to play hard in front of his boys. I was pissing my pants on her side of the conversation cause I could tell by her answers that this negro explaining himself to her. He tells her that they were just kidding and they really wished we would come back to watch some movies (they have a huge DVD collection). She asks me if I want to go back over there and I tell her that I want to discuss it so she tells little man we will call back in five minutes.

I don’t know if it was the weed or what but when she hung up we started talking about something totally different and when I looked up we were at her place. My cell starts ringing like crazy and I see from the Caller ID that it’s Little Man’s Cousin (he wants to fuck). When I answer the phone he says, “Yeah girl, you better buck up.”

“Don’t worry about me nigga, I stay bucked.”

“Oh is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s right. So what are you saying? Are you ready to get buck?”

Silence for like thirty seconds then he goes

“You crazy girl.”

“Yeah I am nigga. So you call me after you buck up.”

I hung up the phone just like that. The next day ( my birthday) I went over there cause they said they would smoke me out. I banged on the door like the police and when he opened it I said -

“So what’s up nigga, did you buck up?”

His boys just started laughing. I think that’s going to be the joke this summer. Besides, I know he is really not ready for this and I don’t really go around letting everyone get bucked. But shit talking is fun, right?

Damn. That guy at my job? The one with all the muscles? I am totally bordering on sexual harassment. Did I just type that? Holy shit. I mean if you could look at him and see, you‘d understand. I put my hand in the small of his back today while I was talking to him and I felt the dip between his two sides (am I explaining this clearly?) and holy cow. I mean, even touching his arms gives me chills. I’ve taken to softly murmuring “got dayum” every day when he walks in wearing something else that shows off his physique. Woo. I have a picture of us from yesterday at my at work birthday celebration. Did I mention that when I rolled up to the job looking for my girl on the night of my birthday he was standing outside? When he saw me he said “happy birthday beautiful” and came and kissed me on the cheek. I was like, “heyyyyyyyyy.”

What’s wrong with me? I’m so Samantha. Someone told me today that I was aggressive. Is there anything wrong with being aggressive and going after what you want? I don’t think there is. I’m straight to the point. I don’t feel the need to play around if it isn’t necessary. There are some instances when you want to play it cool and then there are times when you need to speak on it, not tweak on it, know what I’m saying?