I am more critical of myself than I am of others, especially in writing. I had a discussion with Jason the other day and I realized that I was being critical of my output on the web. Initially I thought I was dissatisfied with what others were doing but I realized that the problem starts within.
I told Anitra that I thought the web was dead. No one has anything to say anymore. This isn’t a bad thing; it could just be a widespread case of writer’s block. I wasn’t being critical of anyone. I notice as I pass through my usual reading list that either people aren’t writing or they aren’t writing anything that is holding my attention. I am craving new things to read.
Weblogs gave voice to the common Joe in two ways. It gave us a way to have a presence on the web. Let’s thank people like Evan, Andrew, Noah, Mena and Ben for that. They made publishing to the web easy for those of us who had to use the Geocities Easy Editor when we originally came to the web. They made it simple for writers like me to be able to put our writing out there for an audience, be it an audience of one or one thousand.
I came into this whole blogging thing a year ago this month. I registered my first domain on April 23rd. I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I came to the world of blogging so I looked at other sites and tried to figure out how it was “supposed” to be done. I thought there was a formula. I followed that “formula” to some degree. I linked to things I found on the net. I linked to diary entries that I found intriguing. I linked to silly and asinine things. I made fun of my friends and myself. I had a lot of fun.
Then the newness of it all wore off and I was in this blogging life for better or worse. I realized I wanted to do more. I read sites by people who were just writing - not linking, not editorializing - just writing. I wanted to do that too. The first time I read Alison’s site I was impressed. She was writing and doing it well. She was telling her stories and sharing of herself without being boring. She wasn't’ a “formula” blog. She didn’t just link, link, and link. That was attractive to me. I didn’t really want a link blog either. I wanted to write and share and have people understand me for me. Thus, Hideous Kinky was born.
From July of 2001 until now I have been writing on Hideous Kinky. Sometimes I write long entries and other times I don’t feel like writing anything at all. There were times when I felt like quitting. The “pressure” to impress and be all that everyone wanted me to be was overwhelming. And then I woke up. I realized that I don’t have to do this for anyone but me. I don’t have to stand up tot he criticism of anyone but me. Sure, we all want to be accepted by others, but at what cost? Selling ourselves short?
So what do I want to do now? That’s a question I have to ask of myself. Jason and I were discussing what we would like to see done differently on the web. I know what I like when I come to the web. I like to see people sharing. I like good writing. I like to read people who are discussing their world and how it is shaping them. It helps me to see my world a little differently too. Links blogs are cool too. Sometimes I find things in blogs that I probably wouldn’t have found otherwise. I have an appreciation for that. I do wish that more people wrote though. I have this desire to write and share my writing and discuss with other writers the trails and tribulations of the writer’s life. I am drawn to people with sites that focus on good writing.
I would like to see more of that on the web. Jason and I agreed that they way to accomplish that is through leading by example. When I came to the web, I followed the examples of those that were there before me. I followed very closely in the beginning and then as I got more practice I developed my own style. I am happy with the progression I’ve made since I started blogging. I have learned a lot from doing it. Blogging encouraged me to learn HTML so that I didn’t have to depend on programs like Dreamweaver and FrontPage and WYSIWYG editors to make layouts. It encouraged me to experiment with other programs too, like Fireworks and Photoshop and Paint Shop Pro. It encouraged me to learn about CSS, PHP and how to do includes and things like that. I’ve come a long way.
There are still more roads to cross though. As a writer, I need to stop posting “I ate eggs for breakfast this morning” and leaving it at that. Instead, I need to explain why it should matter to the reader that I ate the eggs. “I ate an egg this morning and as I stuck my fork into it and broke the yolk, I realized there was an unborn chicken spreading its embryonic form across my plate. From the chicken’s womb to my mouth without so much as a thought to the life that could have been. We all eat eggs for breakfast. Eating eggs is the same as giving chickens an abortion isn’t it? Where are the people standing outside the chicken coops with Pro-Life signs protesting that?”
I feel the need to express and explain and to make people understand. So where do we go from here?
For me the novelty of the web has worn off. I feel fully initiated into this club of people sharing ideas across networks and state lines and oceans and political parties and social statuses. I feel as if I could be adding something more to the medium, something that will have meaning in the years to come. There is a difference now.
Originally all I cared about were hits and traffic to my site. I didn’t care who was there; I just wanted people to be there. A year later I realize that I share Candi’s sentiments - there are too many eyes and not enough ears here. Something has got to change. The train wreck phenomenon has passed. We no longer have to sit and stare at websites waiting for something to happen. We can take the initiative and make it happen.
I am not here to tell anyone else how they should do their website. I can only hope that what I do will inspire someone else to try and do the same thing and from there it will catch on. I say let’s not be critical of what other people put forth. Instead, let’s be examples of what we would like to see and let the rest come naturally.
Yes, the novelty of the net has worn off for me. It’s no longer new or foreign. I am a full participant with a Google ranking to prove it. Now it’s time to move on. It’s like when you are training on a new job. There is a learning curve and then there comes the time when the boss expects you to be up to speed and doing your thing without any help. I feel like I am at that stage now. Playtime is over. It’s time to get serious.
I’m ready for people to pay attention and listen. I feel ready to use the medium for what it can do for me - get my writing out there and let people hear what I have to say.
What are you ready to do with the web?
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