Today I committed at least twenty car jackings. I stole several parked cars including a very nice classic Jaguar Convertible, a police car, a fire truck, a delivery truck and an ambulance. I took numerous joy rides around the city in cars I had stolen. I caused numerous car accidents, ran over innocent pedestrians and mowed down anyone who tried to get in my way.
When I got tired of joy riding, I beat people with bats until they bled on the street and gave me their money.
My latest video game obsession is Grand Theft Auto III. Until you have gotten out of the car and walked around the city beating the shit out of people with bats and performing random drivebys on gangsters you will not understand.

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