I had a wonderful weekend. Details coming soon. Presently I’m working on switching this blog over to MT version 2.0. Changing the way the pages are set up a little bit too. Lots of good stuff on the net these past couple of days. Want to talk about some of that too. That’s it for now. Stay tuned.
March 2002 Archives
forgot to show everyone that asked the link where I went to make my virtual model. I have everyone at work doing it now. It's hilarious. You can make your very own virtual model right here.
I don't have anything to say.
and you know this man. ten more minutes and i'm out.
My Oscar Notes
Gwyneth Paltrow - Even members of the itty bitty titty committee need to wear bras. Especially the ones that have tits like an orangutan.
Cameron Diaz - Combs and brushes please. Thanks. She looked like she hadn’t combed her shit in a week. You have money bitch. Spend it.
J-Lo - She looked like she was hiding some Cuban refugees in her hair. What was “up” with that shit?
Julia Roberts - I love her just as much as the next Julia fan but did it not escape her attention that Denzel’s wife was in the audience? She was humping his leg like a dog in heat. Down girl!
Whoopi - They need to have her back. She was hilarious. By far the funniest I’ve seen in a long time. I actually watched the whole telecast cause she was cracking me up. I usually skip award shows.
Sidney Poitier = Foreshadowing for the events to come but still a well deserved Oscar.
Halle Berry - You go girl. I loved her speech. Her reaction was priceless. I was sitting in my living room and when they called her name I started screaming and crying like a little bitch. So very happy. You made history.
Denzel Washington - I was happy for him as well although I would have been just as happy if Will Smith had won. That there were two black men nominated in the best actor category on one night made me ecstatic.
On the note of colored people winning Oscars -
I was glad for both Halle and Denzel. It was a long time coming. I couldn’t help but feel a sting for Whoopi though. Here she is watching history being made when it probably should have been her that made the history for her role as Celie in “The Color Purple”. She stepped outside of the box on that one and every time I watch that movie I am reminded of the anger I felt when it was shut out of the Academy Awards all those years ago.
Yes, this is a happy occasion for people of color. There are still great strides that need to be made. I can’t help but worry that this is going to be the only time that it happens and colored actors will be forever stuck in that vacuum of Susan Lucci-ism that never ends. Let us pray.
A great discussion on this topic can be found here
I don’t know what to write about. The last couple of days I’ve been finding it increasingly hard to focus on writing. So I go and do other things to try and take my mind off the task of writing. I figure that occupying my mind with something else might lead it back to writing eventually. So far this theory hasn’t worked.
It’s not like I don’t have topics to write about. I sat and made a list in the back of my notebook of different topics I could discuss at different times so that I would never be at a loss for something to write about. When I sit down and actually try to put the pen to paper, it doesn’t seem to work for me.
I wish I could figure out what is blocking me.
I could go on for hours but I won’t. I think my eyes are tired because the screen is starting to get blurry. I need a new eyeglass prescription too.
And this is the real me, wearing my "hottie" tee shirt.
so this is what the computer generated after I put in my measurements and stuff. Almost dead on. Almost.
What a lazy day. I spent it alternating between napping, cleaning my room and washing my clothes. I also watched some movies.
I really like the movie Chocolat. i like it more each time I watch it.
I watched Scary Movie 2 again today and I was still laughing hard. I laughed hard at Kings of Comedy too.
There’s a bluebird on my shoulder, shall I kill it?
My cousin called from Texas today. She’s doing well. Hard to believe that her new baby is already almost a year old.
I didn’t do any writing practice today and that would explain why I don’t have a writing topic today. Maybe tomorrow.
Please IM the SN ELLEgirlBuddy. Someone showed me this bot last night and I think I had way too much fun chatting with it. Talk dirty to it. It likes it. Especially kisses.
That’s all I think.
I am incredibly sleepy. As the weekend begins I am still excited about the new job but glad to have this first week come to an end. It was exhausting. Having people that aren’t as quick in the mind as you slowing down your training on the company’s computer systems can be exasperating and draining. That is the way I am left feeling.
I ingested entirely too much caffeine this week. Even for me. The vending machines in our building sell sodas for twenty-five cents, so I have been loading up on the Mountain Dew.
I didn’t get to go to Starbucks this morning before work but I did go and spend my lunch hour writing. The girl at the counter got an attitude with me when I told her she used the wrong milk (whole, i asked for nonfat) in my latte. I hope she didn’t wonder why I didn’t give her a tip.
A woman from child services just approached Todd Manning (One Life To Live). Guess he’s finally going to have to tell Blair the truth that the baby she thinks he bought is actually her real baby that he convinced her was dead. Sound confusing? Catch the One Life to Live marathon this weekend on Soap Net. (that sounded like a commercial)
People are assholes. When you use the comments feature on other people's sites, act like you have some home training.
I know you’re sorry and you know you’re sorry. Why not just come out and apologize like an adult instead of making up stupid excuses to call me?
Writing practice. That’s what it’s all about. Me practicing this craft that I feel so passionate about. The past few nights I have shied away from it. I have let other things distract me to the point that I did nothing but play video and computer games and chat on AIM. Anything to avoid the practice of writing.
Yesterday morning at Starbucks I really got into it. I was so quiet in my corner for so long that one of the Barista’s came over and asked me if everything was all right. Maybe the silence with which I sat there, methodically writing in my spiral notebook was a cause for alarm from some of the other patrons. I have no idea. I had the store tuned out and my focus was on my notebook. I wrote for the better part of an hour.
Lately I had been shying away from writing in a notebook in favor of typing away on a computer keyboard (laptop or desktop). I felt like writing things out longhand was too slow for the way my mind moved. I’ve said before that my mind moves at one hundred miles per hour. Sometimes I am three thoughts away by the time my pen catches up to what it is I am trying to say. Yesterday it was different.
Yesterday I applied some of the principals I’ve been reading in the Natalie Goldberg book “Wild Mind: Living the Writer’s Life”. I am learning to tune out everything that is going on around me and find that place within me where my voice resides, where my thoughts are waiting to spring forth. There is so much that I want to share about what I am learning in this book but I am waiting until I am entirely finished with it before I begin trying to explain it to other people. I feel good about the things that I am learning though, and more confident in my ability to write.
So yesterday I sat in Starbucks and I didn’t let my internal editor take over. I just wrote what I felt. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I felt like I was in control of what I was writing for once. I needed that. I was beginning to lose confidence in my ability to write and get down to the “meat” of what it is I am trying to say.
I am going to keep at it. I have set that time in the morning aside so that I can go into Starbucks each day have a cup of coffee and sit in my corner and write. Natalie says that you should schedule time for yourself to write. That is what my latest accomplishment is. I find the mornings to be easiest and better because by the time I get home I am distracted by so many things it’s unreal. When I do it first thing in the morning before I go to work, I have time to unwind from the commute. I have time to let my brain relax and say what it wants to say. It feels wonderful.
So Jason, when you asked me why I was in such a super mood, I suppose this is part of the reason. I am making breakthroughs in my writing.
And now for a bit of laziness. I am going to be moving the site over to Movable Type v2.0. It says that I have to export my entries in order to do so. Bleh. I’m lazy and I haven’t quite figured that part out yet which is why all the old HK stuff did not make it onto this site. The entries that are here that I consider to be exceptionally good I will probably add to the new list manually. Then again maybe I won’t. Depends on how lazy I feel. Anyone want to do it for me?
Also, the Lakers lost to the Spurs. DAMMIT.
And now I must go get ready for work. On my new company issued cellular phone you can send me text messages through email. I wonder if I should add that link to the site?
Yes, company issued. Unlimited calling of both local and long distance numbers and no cell phone bill. Unlimited text messaging. Plus we have the cool Nextel phones which have two-way radio so I can call my friends from work up on the radio/walkie talkie instead of dialing their number. Don’t hate.
any questions?
link via renee
what an awesome idea. too bad i'm always on the late freight.
i know i'm late but i forgot to mention that funky fingerz is back. he's been back for a while but nobody told me.
min jung, your design rocks. as does ab's.
oh and by the way, have you read sandra?
ok this is turning into link whoring. but ...
my sister girl is back early from her hiatus.
read the march 19th entry. pure as the driven slush.
i love robin. also this. i want a velvet portrait.
kevin is having an oscar contest and you could win a fabulous prize.
do you love yourself?
in the tradition of one of my favorite games i used to play on the apple computer, where in the world is oliver willis? and elisabeth for that matter.
cecily sent me yummy rice krispy treats all the way from canada!
movable type version 2.0
alison shows her dark side.
i miss my smoochacha.
please read the brutal honesty entry about lori from real world 10 and rogaine. please. we'll discuss it later.
xkot is still a jerk.
Sleep is so precious to me these days. I remember the days of me trying to stay up as late as possible, even if I did have to get up the next morning and go to work or school. I’m learning to listen to my body now, and when I feel sleepy I go to sleep.
Last night I was sitting here in front of the computer playing a game. I was trying to escape my writing practice and the game was holding my attention because it was allowing me to think and let the thoughts pass through my head the way they are supposed to, uninhibited. I kept looking at the clock and when I realized it was ten I decided it was time to go to bed so I could have a decent amount of rest.
I notice that when I go to bed on time, I tend to have more dreams. The dreams are also very vivid. Everything in them seems so real. A lot of times things will happen in the dreams and I will be aware of the fact that it is out of the norm (for instance my dead aunt, who was also my favorite aunt, will be there), but loving every minute of it will make me not fight it and instead embrace the oddities so that they last a little longer.
Sometimes I try to make myself take control in my dreams. These are on those occasions when I am aware that I actually am dreaming. This has prevented me from waking up screaming with nightmares as of late. When something bad is happening I will imagine whatever tool I need to escape and suddenly I will have it and everything will be ok. I once dreamed that my mother, grandmother and I were being marched to our deaths by a group of people who were dressed in those weird outfits like the house that Tom Cruise went to in “Eyes Wide Shut”. They were carrying swords and they were most definitely going to kill us. I remember thinking, “I need a gun”. I remember being aware of the fact that there was no gun in my hand. Then I made the gun shape with my fingers (like you did when you were a kid), started aiming at my foes and “firing” and suddenly I did have a gun and they were dropping like flies. That was the coolest.
I am starting to get into dreaming. I like to see what happens and how I handle the various situations I get into. It’s like watching my own adventure television show every single night of the week.
What do you dream about?
My dreams last night were the ultimate. I had a dream that me and Michael Jackson (yes, the king of pop) were having a flirtatious relationship going and all my friends were jealous. Every time he saw me he would run over and hug me and talk to me. He was super cool. He owned an ice cream shop and everyone liked to go there. I went in there one day looking for him and he and I broke out into a duet of “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You” and it was beautiful. Then my alarm went off and Michael went back to Neverland Ranch and I had to get up for work.
xkot if you make one negative comment i’ll beat your ass. that goes for the rest of you too. i love mike and nothing you can say will change that.
I would like to send a special birthday shout out to my newly adopted wonder twin, Jason. May you have many more in the years to come.
even though you work for the devil
Now everyone get over there and wish him a happy birthday!
The first day at the new place went very well. I’m even more stoked than I was this morning.
Adam bought me the coolest book off my wishlist and I have been reading it and I’m learning quite a bit. I want to talk about it but I’m sleepy. Maybe tomorrow.
I am having withdrawals from not playing GTAIII.
Hearing you on my answering machine the other day was the bright point in my day. Honestly.
I sat in Starbucks this morning and wrote for an hour.
I’m liking this new job already and I haven’t set foot in the building yet. I’m happy because I didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get there. At my old job I would have already been in the building at this point since I had to be at work at seven each morning. Today I turned the alarm off when it blared in my ear (it was still set for the old time) and rolled over for another 45 minutes of sleep. It felt good too. Then the weird dreams kicked in.
I was over my friend Alex’s house and his parents had stripped all the paint off the house and moved without telling anyone. I knew they still lived somewhere on the same street so I was wandering around trying to find them. Along the way I ran into some girls who were trying to pick a fight with me. I started talking loud and they all ran away. I tried to run over one of them with my car. That’s when I woke up and got in the shower.
And now I am out the door.
do this to myself every single Sunday night. On Monday mornings I do not want to wake up and it’s partially because I was up too late on Sunday night. I don’t know what it is about trying to squeeze out the last little bit of weekend.
I’ve started sneezing again. Not those dry, dust-in-the-air sneezes but wet you’re-catching-another-cold sneezes. Gross. I don’t want to get sick again.
Went to the grocery store tonight. Waited in a long line and cussed out a guy that tried to run me over in the parking lot. I’m coming out of the store pushing a cart full of groceries; he’s flying across the parking lot doing at least 25 where he should have only been doing five. When he saw me he sped up a little bit. I started talking shit under my breath. He must have seen my lips moving because as he got close up on me he said, “Take your time. Just walk as slow as you want,” in a very sarcastic voice. I told him that pedestrians have the right of way and “just where did you get your license from anyway you asshole?” Yes, I went there. Then I started laughing.
Tomorrow is the first day at the new place and I don’t have butterflies or anything.
There is nothing stressing me out.
I feel like my head is trying to emerge out of the fog. The fog has been hovering for so long now. It’s a dense fog that lifts and returns on a whim. It was hard to shake. I feel like I am starting to push that front out of my life.
I have so much going on in my head. I feel like I want to try and do a million things at once. Changes are being made, my thought processes are changing and for once I feel like I am in control. I feel relief.
There was a force of negativity that was hovering, trying to bring rain into my day. I got rid of that negativity yesterday. It went smoothly and I don’t expect any residual fall out. Both parties involved are satisfied. The score was settled. I feel a sense of relief there too.
I could have gone off on someone yesterday. They were wrong, I was right and I was well within my right to go off. Instead, I told this person that the moment had passed and I didn’t want to dwell on it any longer. I also let them know that I didn’t care to deal with them any longer either. I could hear regret and rejection in their voice as they agreed with me. And I felt relieved then too.
The other situation was making me tired. Not just the work but the people, the management - small nuances of the everyday atmosphere that were taking their toll on my resolve to continue on there. I was beginning to feel resentment and I think it would have eventually shown in my work. Luckily I never got to that point. The universe intervened and I was given something else entirely. Something much better, more lucrative and with a company I can respect. Tomorrow is the first day and I don’t even feel anxious. Just - relieved.
Presently I have a mild headache. I am going to take an early afternoon nap. Hopefully that will provide me with some relief too.
i still love this layout. :O)
I just spent the last three hours of my life watching reruns of the Road Rules/Real World Battle of the Seasons or whatever it is. Some notes:
Damn I’m glad they voted Stephen off. I wasn’t even there and he was getting on my nerves. He acts like a little bitch. Damn. I kept hoping they would vote his ass off and when they finally did I was like woo hoo!
Jisela - Um. Nevermind.
Coral - Damn girl, you were right about Stephen but you carry a little air of negativity with you too baby girl. I like Coral though, so I’m not going to diss her.
The freaking married couple. How did this shit get through? And the whole reading the bible and having prayers while lying locked in a lovers embrace was a bit much for me. I’m glad the husband got voted off.
Lindsay. What a good sport. She was even cheerful when they voted her off.
Belou or whatever her name is with the baby. Damn. I must have slept through that season of Road Rules. The whole Ebonics with a European accent is killing it for me. She keeps saying YO. I’m glad she got voted too. Her baby was cute though.
Mike and Flora from Miami = No one else would come.
I wonder how MTV chooses who they put on these shows. I think they like going for the most conflict they can get. They got it here. These people are backbiting and backstabbing to the highest degree. I felt like I was watching Survivor.
In a way, I guess I was.
Today I committed at least twenty car jackings. I stole several parked cars including a very nice classic Jaguar Convertible, a police car, a fire truck, a delivery truck and an ambulance. I took numerous joy rides around the city in cars I had stolen. I caused numerous car accidents, ran over innocent pedestrians and mowed down anyone who tried to get in my way.
When I got tired of joy riding, I beat people with bats until they bled on the street and gave me their money.
My latest video game obsession is Grand Theft Auto III. Until you have gotten out of the car and walked around the city beating the shit out of people with bats and performing random drivebys on gangsters you will not understand.
I hate that no matter how late I go to bed at night, my body automatically wakes me up shortly after six in the morning. Today was no exception. I had planned to sleep in and catch up on my beauty rest but apparently my body is already conditioned to get up and so it automatically does early in the morning. It’s so early in the morning that no one is on my buddy list.
I was having weird dreams last night. Dreams about friends owning beauty salons and beauty supply shops and me trying to get there but the door was locked. I keep having these strange dreams. I dream of code too. Of end tags and aligning text on pages so that it is pleasing to the eye. I’ve been working on my web pages too much.
I have so much running around to do today. Since my bank puts an automatic 5 day hold on funds from checks drawn on out of state banks I have to go to the casino and cash my check first, then take the cash to the bank and deposit it. Annoying, right? Hopefully it will be the last time I have to do this nonsense since I can officially call that company my former employer. Their headquarters is in Atlanta and our payroll checks were drawn on First Union Bank. There are no first unions here on the west coast. The first thing I’m doing at the new job is signing up for direct deposit so I don’t have to go through this any longer.
Aside from the three-stops-to-cash-one-check errand, I still need to get a haircut and a pedicure. I have $175 in Real Women Dollars from Lane Bryant and you know I’m going to go use those today. I’ve been waiting for this week ever since I started racking up the real women dollars last month. If you don’t know how they work, basically I get to walk in Lane Bryant and buy $350 worth of clothes for $175. Quite a deal huh?
I am still updating the links page. The other sections are all up and running so feel free to take a look around. To everyone that had changed their links to beatspirit.com, I’m sorry for the change yet again. In the end I just couldn’t give up my baby or the brand recognition that it brings. I know it’s nerve wracking when people open and close open and close and I have decided that Hideous Kinky will remain open indefinitely because I love the domain name and I refuse to give it up. I think I was afraid. Afraid of what was starting to come out in my writing and afraid of what the “fans” would say. A lot of stuff I never posted just because I didn’t want anyone to have bent feelings.
I learned something over the past few days though. I can’t run and hide from me, my thoughts or the way I feel because no matter what domain I am posting on those feelings and thoughts are still going to be there and if they are weighing that heavily on my mind, they are going to come out in my writing. I’d rather them come out in the spot where everybody knows my name, thank you very much. I’m still going to use beat spirit for something. I just haven’t quite determined what that something is yet. Still working out the kinks. Maybe a notes to self type blog. I’m not sure yet.
Maybe I will finally get around to cleaning my room this weekend. I have been procrastinating on that for the longest. My mom told me if I paid her she would help me. That should give you an indication of how bad it is looking right about now. Did I mention I was born in the year of the Pig? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have so many clothes. That’s what the majority of the mess is. I have clothes everywhere. Clothes and books. I have books piled up in all areas of my room and I have nowhere to put them. I’m running out of space. Perhaps a trip to Target to find a bookcase?
And I need breakfast. My mom has been faking the funk. We used to go out for pancakes every Saturday morning. Lately there has been none of that. Get on the ball mom!
And so now at a quarter of ten on a Saturday morning I am going to throw on a pair of jeans and run out the casino to handle my business. At least casinos don’t charge you a fee for cashing your check.
Why is it that you never get sleepy until someone else mentions that they are sleepy too? I was just fine until people started talking about bed.
Even though I’ve been off work the past few days I still feel like I haven’t gotten much sleep. I am going to sleep in tomorrow. I want to get my haircut and get a pedicure, and I have a few errands that need to be run in the morning. Weekends were made of this.
At least I won’t have to work on Saturdays anymore. Not unless I want to. I’m pleased with that. My new work schedule calls for me to be in at 9:30. I get to sleep later too. Someone or something is shining down on me. I can feel it.
There is all this change around me and within me. I’m making decisions that are setting into motion plans that I’ve been making for a long time. Sometimes it just takes that extra little push.
For once I feel like I can breathe. For once I feel a calmness.
Now, if only I could get my room clean.
Oliver is moving to the East Coast this week. He and I never got a chance to meet in person. I am somewhat disappointed.
I still love Arial as a font.
Once you put robots.txt on your server and add the no spider code to your meta tags, how long before the search engines actually drop you from their results?
I know I have had the top google ranking with my domain name for about as long as I have had this site. I'm trying to get my site out of search engines period. Is there a way to do this quickly?
Yates' husband, Russell, showed no reaction in the courtroom, but afterward he made his first comments since a gag order was imposed soon after the June 20 murders."It would have been worse if she'd been given the death penalty, but not that much worse," he said outside the courtroom. Referring to family members, he added: "Most of us were offended that she was even prosecuted."
- Fox News article
I have to question Russel Yates' culpability in this incident. If he knew his wife was mentally unstable why did he continue to pump her full of babies? He says he is offended that she was even prosecuted. I am offended that he wasn't.
I need a word or phrase to replace "the bomb". I use that phrase entirely too much. Whenever something or someone is cool (another overused phrase) I say, "that's the bomb!"
Other phrases and words I use too much
"So um yeah"
"wow"
"dude!"
"so is it all like" or "so I was all like" or "you're all like"
"m*ther f*cker"
"um, no" (said in a sarcastic tone)
"anyway"
All the catch phrases that show up on each page are actually haikus that I wrote. I was originally inspired by the layout at 0format and I was going to attempt to run two blogs on one page. When that got to be too much of a headache, this idea just came to me. I like it. It's simple and minimalist. Simple designs and layouts turn me on.
I like the way the page is set up to give me as much writing space as possible. I'll also have plenty of room if I decide to post a picture or two.
I have a new HTML book and it's teaching a lot. I'm learning to do different things with HTML to achieve the results I'm looking for. The next beast I want to tackle is CSS. I can set up styles for fonts and make the scroll bar show up in pretty colors, but that is about the extent of my CSS training. Anything else I want to know, I ask a knowledgable person.
I should start looking for a CSS book this weekend. For now, I'm satisfied with the look of the site.
Come on, admit it. The grey was kinda tired. Black type on a white background is best for reading and printing. Not that there is anything you'd want to print just yet. I'm just saying.
Arial! I love this font. Anil was making fun of me about it. There are worst fonts though, like Times New Roman. That has got to be the ugliest font ever invented.
Fear me and my buff arial font.
I must say I am damn proud of this layout. Also my new font obsession is Arial. Everyone please switch all your fonts to arial now. I like the way it looks. Trebuchet is so last year.
I feel like Sugamami. Then again maybe I don’t. I decided against shutting down Hideous Kinky. I cannot let the pressure of the opinions of others affect how I view me in my world. So I’ve reopened with a new attitude and a new agenda. Are you ready for this jelly?
In the end I can only be true to myself. I was spending a lot of time worrying about what other people were thinking about the things I was writing and I should have only been concentrating on myself. Writing is an exercise to free me, not place me in the good graces of others.
My thoughts, opinions and stories may be objectionable to you but I can no longer run from that. I will never be able to fully use my muse if I am constantly censoring or hampering her. I ask that everyone try to understand that.
jack kerouac's birthday.
sometimes you just want to slap a bitch.
I just woke up from the best nap. Sundays are always lazy for me. I like to sit around in my pajamas all day and pass out in different places around the house. Mostly on the couch. Our couch is so big and comfortable, you can’t help it.
saima has a new science blog. i learned how to make a Cardioid.
by the way, tonight on the local jazz station i heard bette midler doing a cover version of teddy pendergrass' "love tko" and it sounded awesome. i didn't even realize it was her until the announcer said it. i have got to find it. if you find it for me i'll love you forever.
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I don't get paid overtime.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and
are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative -
You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work before
you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering,
and exiting, the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Signed The Boss
sometimes i go off right? my temper is quick. big red is on the prowl. i'm sorry i spoke to you that way.
also, i haven't forgotten about you. or our deal. :)
I found my next stalker vict -- I mean my newest internet sensation! His name is Jason and he lives right here.
I fell in love with him after I read this.
Jason, will you marry me? I'm from L.A. too, born and raised. We can live in the Valley and have lots and lots of babies. Ok I'm lying about lots and lots.
I saw this on the Fox News main page and I thought it was a joke until I read the subsequent article.
Now pardon me while I get just a little ghetto, but NIGGA ARE YOU FOR REAL? Yeah, I said it. (shoot me now Oliver). I cannot believe this shit. I cannot believe the person behind it. (edit): Let's just say I didn't expect to see this shit right here!
And there he sits looking smug and confident in his product with that tired ass unshaped fro and that big ass ditch in between his two front teeth. He claims that he wants his game to teach tolerance. Uh, excuse me. How are you teaching people racial tolerance by reinforcing black stereotypes? Not all black men get arrested, not all black men go to a black college to get an education (a close family friend who is a physician and is black graduated from Crenshaw High School and went to Stanford Undergrad and Medical), and our only choices for employment are not the entertainment industry, life on the streets and the military. Give me a break.
I especially like this quote - For now, "Life as a Blackman" is sold on the Internet and in small novelty stores. Sawyer said he is trying to get the game into major retail chains, "But being a black man, once again, it's a struggle." Notice how he managed to throw that in there, the struggle of the black man.
Dear Chuck Sawyer,
I wouldn't buy that shit and I hope no other self respecting human being would either. I'm all for a brother making it and everything but come correct PLEASE.
How dare you equate your inability to get your game on the shelves of major retail chains to the black man's struggle. Your game is not going to do anything to help the so-called "struggle". You are only reinforcing what other people believe to be true about the men in our race. I think you are a disgrace. Where did you come from?
You claim that your game is based on your own experiences as a black man trying to make it in corporate America. You claim that you want to introduce it into schools and businesses so that you can teach tolerance. Why not write a book instead? How is creating a game that only reinforces stereotypes helping anything?
Chuck Sawyer, you ignorant slut. You need your ass beat. Also, is it the ultimate party game or a game to teach tolerance? You can't seem to make up your mind on that point.
I did a Google search to see if I could find any other information about Chuck Sawyer and I came across two more articles about the game.
Heh. Because i am tired of all the weird google hits I get too (it was thrilling at first, now it's just clutter in my referral logs) I would like for you all to read this nice article that dreama has put out.
Read it. Then spread this shit like VD.
kthxbi.
this is how i look
all flared jeans and open toes
striking my cute pose
i think I really wanted to be a cam girl.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this weblog and what it means to me. I don’t update as often as I used to; that much is obvious. Sometimes I wonder if I am losing interest in the whole idea of blogging.
I thought about doing another site because maybe it was HK that had me stymied and not the idea of blogging itself, but that’s not it either. I think I’m just tired of the formula. Link this, link that, wash, rinse, repeat. It’s so tired now.
I have a new domain, but I am not sure if I am going to use it or not. I’m such a domain whore; I have five domains registered and only two of them actually have something up. The second site was a side project I was working on and I had plans of releasing it to the public, but I’m not so sure anymore. What do you do when you feel suffocated by your blog?
I’m also tired of going to websites and having people tell me what does and does not make a good blog. That’s so elitist to me. It is like saying that only people who follow this certain formula deserve to be read and everyone else is just garbage. I’m angry with myself because for a long time, I believed that elitist bullshit. I wanted to be “A-list” and have all the traffic. I wanted to be linked by so-called elite bloggers. Now that I have all the traffic (and the subsequent weird referrals from google) I realize that it’s not enough anymore.
I need to be creative. I need to be able to express myself. I need to be able to do it in a format that suits my desires and wishes and no one else’s. This post will probably not mean anything to anyone but me. And that is what it is all about. Pleasing myself.
I thought about shutting this site down. But I won’t do it because I love the domain name too much.
I remember way back when I initially discovered web journals and weblogs, I came across an essay entitled “Why Web Journal’s Suck”. The author mentions, among other things, the fact that blogging tends to strip you of your privacy at times. I’m well aware of the number of people that read this site, both known and unknown to me. Friends, family members, current coworkers and ex-coworkers all tune in to get their dose. It is at once a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I am happy to have the support of those who love me. A curse because at times I find myself censoring so that I won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. That is suffocating me too.
So what do I do? Say fuck it and keep going, not worrying about what the people I care about think? Or do I just keep the side project going, to satisfy my need to get it all out without everyone watching. Decisions can be hard to make.
I love writing. I love entertaining others with my writing. But at times I don’t feel the need to entertain. Sometimes I just feel the need to be me.
Today on Ananda she has women on her show that have complaints about their breasts. One side of the panel is women who, like me, have large breasts and often have problems finding bras that fit and provide support. Not to mention the fact that it feels like you are carrying two small children strapped to your shoulder all day. I could feel for these women.
Then there was the girl who said she could easily wear training bras because her breasts are so small. She wants to do something about it. I think I can help her out.
FOR SALE: TWO RATHER LARGE BREASTS, CARAMEL BROWN IN COLOR. ONE BREAST HAS A VISIBLE BEAUTY MARK THAT HAS BEEN CALLED SEXY BY SOME MEN. FREE DELIVERY.
I just came back from the Mary J Blige concert and I have to say that I have a new found respect for Mary. She put on an excellent show. She talked a lot about the meaning behind the songs. I sang along with her all night. Every song had a memory attached and hearing her belt those lyrics out from the bottom of her soul brought tears to my eyes more than once during the show.
The outfits looked good, and she worked that stage like she was born to do it. And for the first time in a long time I felt like I got my money's worth at a concert.
Of course in true CP fashion we were late to the show and missed the opening act which was Avant. I wanted to see him too, but Mary more than made up for it.
Two tickets to the Aladdin Theater of the performing arts - $86.00
4 Vodka and Cranberry Juice (lite vodka, heavy on the cranberry) - $19.75
Tipping the Valet to park my car near the front and then bring it out in front of everyone else's - $20.00
Going to a concert and knowing every word to every song and being able to feel the meaning behind them - PRICELESS.
