flirting

I know that I am an incurable flirt. It just comes naturally with me I guess. I like to flirt. There is something about the idea that I am turning another person on that completely and totally turns me on. Not turned on so much that I want to jump their bones (although that can happen too) but just in the sense that I am both amused and aroused at the idea of another person being amused and aroused by me. I am an aggressive flirt; I don’t shy away from innuendo when I perceive that it is welcome. Double entendres work really well. I find that most people enjoy that. It’s that subtle playing with words and body language that consenting adults do.

In the beginning flirting had a purpose. Akin to the mating rituals in the animal kingdom, flirting was a means of translating your feelings for someone into some form of communication. Be it eye contact or verbal intercourse the interaction was saying one thing - I like you, therefore I am going to display that attitude towards you. Also, I might possibly like to fuck you, and if you are feeling the same thing then hell let’s dispense with the subliminal messages and get down to the business of fucking shall we?

But wait. Once the business of fucking is over and you’ve discovered that he or she is a lousy lay and you never want to have sex with this person again what are you left with? Even if the sex is wonderful there is probably some other kind of hang up (i.e. he is crazy or she has issues) and it will never work. Or maybe the sex is great, there are no hang ups and you fuck on and on for months only to discover you hate the way he hangs toilet paper on the roll or the way she leaves her stockings drying over the shower rail. The magic and luster have worn off and it is no longer fun for you.

Which is why flirting is a good thing. Between two consenting adults, flirting can be a great thing. Who doesn’t like the idea of another person having sensual thoughts about them? We all can use that little boost at some point during our day. Isn’t there some person you come in contact with that you like to say a few extra words to knowing that you will get a favorable response from them? You say something sweet, they say something sweet back, you follow with a little innuendo and they smile coyly at you before walking away. This activity might continue on and on throughout the day with several different people. It makes those hours in between coffee and lunch breaks go a little faster. It makes the commute to and from work a little more interesting. It makes the chore of going to the grocery store and spending $100 a week just a little more satisfying.

There are guys that I flirt with at work. I walk slowly when I pass by their desks. I smile sweetly and wink my eyes demurely at them and they respond with wide grins and “Hi Monique” in a singsong fashion that makes me feel like a cover model. When I’m on break they walk up to me in the break room and stand close so they can catch a whiff of my perfume. I pretend not to notice and instead fiddle with my cell phone or talk to my girls sitting in the break room with me.

There’s a guy I flirt with every time I go to the grocery store. I know the minute he notices I’m in the store because he makes a conscious effort to be visible to me from every aisle I’m walking on. He’s the manager of the store so I guess no one is going to walk up to him and ask him what the hell he is doing. Besides, he always seems busy. He waits until I‘m at the checkout counter before he makes his move. He has to catch my attention in some kind of way. He will tap me on the shoulder or walk right in my path with a basket full of toilet paper. Anything to make me notice him. I like it and I flirt back. Blatantly. I ask him for carryouts and everything. It’s fun to me and I know he gets a kick out of it. It never goes any further than that and it never has to. Just the idea of the weekly flirt is enough for both of us.

My flirting, as I’ve said, is full of innuendo. I’ve always said that I have the ability to lower the level of any conversation, no matter the subject. I know when and when not to use this, but when used to my advantage while flirting it makes things fun. I’m not going to reveal all my secrets because the game is to be sold, not told. Suffice it to say that I believe in making people feel good, even if it is just conversation. The idea behind flirting being the fantasy of it all. You are playing on the fact that you and this other person have something of an attraction towards each other, and pretending that this situation has the chance to play into something different.

And then there are those IM flirts. You know the ones. You talk to them in IMs and they are constantly dropping compliments on you or otherwise verbally stroking you up. So maybe you send a compliment back, and it goes from there. Depending on the circumstances and the two individuals it can go anywhere. People flirt online all the time. The idea of some virtual stranger digging you can be an overload on the senses. You’ll find that you will say and do things a lot differently than you would in face to face interaction. On the net there is a certain amount of detachment that comes with knowing that this person can’t see you looking like a bum in your baggy sweats and t-shirt. It is liberating and it makes you more daring. So you cross the line knowing that no one can hear what you are saying. It’s just words on a screen.

In an instant message there is no body language to speak of. You can’t give coy little winks, shy smiles or linger too long over a handshake. All you have is the verbal and whatever you can do with that. Words can be a very powerful thing when they are all you have. And flirting in an IM can very easily cross the line into cyber sex but that is a topic for another article.

I like flirting in IMs. (I don’t like flirting with everyone in IMs so don’t go into overdrive you perverts.) The occasional flirt when saying hello to someone whose blog you read or whose site you visit on a daily basis can be the bonding experience that your cyber relationship needs. I like Internet flirting for the most part. Most people have been able to maintain that level of decency where even though the line is crossed; it’s not crossed to the point where I want to slap anyone. They read my site and see the things I write and think that they know me and what I like. Sadly they don’t but I still play the game because it’s fun, right?

No matter when, where or how you flirt, remember that flirting is a healthy activity. It’s gets the blood flowing. It’s a form of communication which, when perfected, can be used to your advantage. Show me a woman who has never flirted to get a little something extra at one time or another in her life and I will show you a bitch with no skills. The same goes for men. Show me a man who has never flirted when he thought it would get him ahead and I will show you a player with no game. They work women who work in retail. I know from experience, having spent some time working in retail. We all flirt and work our waiter and waitress at the restaurant or the guy washing our car.

Some flirting can get on your nerves. That totally unwanted but still insistent kind of flirting. The guy (or girl) that is always flirting with you even though you have never flirted back and don’t even give this person any reason to think that you would like to be flirted with by them. That kind of flirting can grate your nerves. You grin and bear it though. Or you tell the person to fuck off. You do have a choice you know. After all, there is no real relationship in flirting.

And that my friends is the greatest perk of flirting. There are no ties. I can flirt with you today and look at you like you are made of glass tomorrow. It won’t matter. My having flirted with you the day before will be but a fleeting thought in the back of your mind as I walk past you and don’t say hi, pretending I’ve never spoken to you in my life. Shouldn’t all break ups be this simple?