i'm mad

People let you down. The system lets you down. You go through all that bullshit at the airport terminal and you get on a plane minding your own fucking business and then find out that you have become part of someone else's plan. What you had going on doesn't matter anymore. It's all about someone else.

This is all a bunch of bullshit. You don't kill thousands of innocent people to prove a fucking point. What kind of sick fuck orchestrates something like this? I'm angry.

I'm mad because I don't want to think about it anymore; sadly I am aware that it will not go away.

I'm mad because my friend is scared for her brother - he's being shipped to the DC area.

I'm mad because we still don't really know who did it.

I'm mad that it could go down like this. We're supposed to be stronger than that.

I'm mad because of a lot of reasons. I can't put them all into words right now. I'm feeling like I don't want to be a part of this. I don't want to know what everyone is thinking anymore. Yet I keep hitting refresh on the MeFi page.

I'm mad because I really wanted to talk to you but you were too drained to talk to me. It's not your fault. I totally understand it. I'm mad nonetheless because I needed you to hear me. I wanted to express to you how I felt when I heard. I thought YOU would understand. You only had time to have your feelings heard though. It's ok. We are all selfish about our feelings today.

I'm mad because I can't express how I feel enough to make anyone understand.

I'm mad because in spite of all of this YOU had the fucking nerve to call me with some stupid bullshit. On today of all days. You're a fucking idiot.

Today killed my naive attitude about my country.

I think today killed my desire to continue this blog.